Indexing Title: CLEYSONs Medical Anecdotal Report [04-6]

MAR Title:  Physician with a Heart

Date of Medical Observation: September, 2004

 Narration:               

On the last week of July, a six-year-old female consulted the OPD, she had an abdominal mass. The first thing I noticed about her was that she possessed an innocent, angelic face. It made me smile.

I examined her, referred her to our consultant and followed her up personally. I grew fond of her; she even called me “Tita Doc”. Before and after her operation, she never gave me any problem or difficulty. She was like an angel.

On her operation, her enlarged right ovary was removed and intraperitonial seedings were noted.  Histopathology revealed that the mass was an immature teratoma with poor prognosis and that she needed chemotherapy.

This month, after my vacation leave, a medical clerk approached one of my co-resident and referred a patient at the mal-ward. I saw that it was my patient.

The moment she saw me, her face lighted up and she opened her arms and engaged me in a tight embrace and kissed me. I was so touched! I felt as if someone stabbed me through the heart and my eyes grew misty.

As I was looking at her, with her very large abdomen, pain was hidden in her smiling face.  According to her mother, not even once had she complained. She really lived up to that angelic title.

She was already terminal, stage IV. I knew she would not live long.

Insights (Physical, Psychosocial, Ethical) / (Discovery, Stimulus, Reinforcements)

Treat your patient just as you would your own relative!

This is an agreement in our department.

But in doing so, sometimes it is difficult to draw the line from mere caring to empathy.

I never had a baby sister or even a baby brother for me to pamper and to take care of. I told myself that if I had a younger sister I would want her to be just like my patient.

There was a time I didn’t want to visit her because it is to painful to see her in her condition, I wanted to protect myself from the pain of eventually losing her.  But every time I looked at her face, I realized she knew she is going to die soon and accepted her fate with complete submission. She was not afraid.

In this experience, I asked myself, should I stop being close to my patients?

After further contemplation my answer was a resounding NO!!!

There are reasons why we experience death in our chosen field, it is to mold us or break us. These kinds of experience are tests of our faith and emotional strength, to sculpt us in to becoming a better person…PHYSICIANS WITH A HEART!