Indexing Title: CLEYSONs Medical Anecdotal Report [05-10] 

MAR Title:  TOKEN OF GRATITUDE 

Date of Medical Observation:  OCTOBER, 2005 

Narration: 

     I’ve met PP a 45-year-old female through one of our consultants. She was his private patient, a diagnosed case of multiple myoma uteri admitted for elective TAHBSO.  The moment I saw her I got the impression that she is living comfortably but when I started the interview, I noted that she’s a down to earth person. During our exchange of words she openly told me that she was very scared. This was the first time she will be admitted in a hospital and that she just arrived from another country. I told her that things will be alright and rest assured that we will do our best to alleviate her problem.

      Her operation went well and she was discharged after five days without complications. On the day of her discharge she asked for me if she can have my number so that if she had a problem she could call me. So I gave her my number and bid her goodbye. When I was already outside her room her sister called me and thanked me for all the things I have done for her patient. She held my hand and I felt that she placed something there. When I looked at it, it was money.

I was stunned for awhile but I told her that I cannot accept it but she insisted and insisted and insisted. She said it was a token of their gratitude for helping them. I firmly told her that I really can’t accept it for the reasons that she was not my personal private patient; accepting money from patients was discouraged by the hospital administration and I am not accustomed accepting money from anyone. In a few minutes of discussion she finally gave in. After an hour or two as I was at the computer room somebody knocks on the door. It was PP’s sister with a bag of assorted fruits in her hand. She gave the bag to me and with a big smile on her face she said “I hope you could accept this now”.

Insights (Physical, Psychosocial, Ethical) (Discovery, Stimulus, Reinforcements)

 In our daily life as a physician, we met different kinds of people as we encounter the different ways these people would show their gratitude. Most of the patients would personally thank you; others would give cakes and fruits; some would spend time to cook for you. And others will offer money.                     

 In the early years of my residency training, a senior resident once told me that it was not a good idea to accept anything from patients and it was discouraged by the administration. I have never forgotten that idea from that day on. I would always refuse strongly anything my patients’ presents. But every time I would say no, I would see changes in their expression and I could see disappointments in their eyes.  I was firm with my principles for quite sometime, although it bothers me, until I told a friend about it. She said that it was alright to accept these things from patients or from their relatives, especially if it was sincerely given. She also told me that everytime a patient gave me something it reflects that I treated the patient as an equal, and that I have done a good job in treating their illness. She explained to me that the more I refuse the more they will be hurt and it may give them other bad ideas why I’m not accepting their offering.

 Her explanation made me think things over.  I weigh everything and came to a conclusion that 1) I would accept their gifts especially if it was given as a sign of gratitude, a way of saying thank you in their own simple ways. 2) Refusing their gifts has more awful effects, they might interpret it as a sign of disrespect, and their offering is not enough, or that you look down on them.

 As for accepting money as a token of gratitude…I’m still in the process of evaluation!