Index Title: MJCabahug’s MAR [06-04] 

MAR Title: The Setting Sun 

Date of Medical Observation: April 2006 

NARRATION:

For the past several weeks, I’ve felt the pressure of being a surgery resident – I was starting to feel burned out. Phone calls to my wife and daughters living far away have only made me miss them more.

But my luck was about to alter, I felt ecstatic when it was announced that the hospital would be closing down during the holy week for major electrical repairs. I would be able to go home. Even the deployment to Ospital ng Sampaloc could not dampen my excitement. I am to finally see my wife and kids and spend a couple of days at home again.

When I got home, the first thing I did was give them a bear hug. How wonderful it feels to be surrounded by people one love. Not wanting to waste time, I immediately gathered them up and told them we were going to spend the day at the beach. To wallow my feet in cool water, spend the day lying on the sand, and to end this perfectly relaxing day, watch the slow setting of the sun.

Like any vacation, a family gathering was in order. A mini reunion was held at our home, relatives came to visit and spend the day. I was able to talk with some of my wife’s relatives who conveyed the distressing news about my wife’s aunt. She was diagnosed with cervical cancer four years ago, and underwent TAHBSO with several cycles of chemotherapy. She had been regularly following-up with her doctor but had a relapse late last year.

Chemotherapy was once again started last January of this year. Come February, my aunt suddenly had a hemorrhagic stroke, so her chemotherapy was cut short. She was also found to have a malignant pleural effusion in which aspiration was done. The family then came to a difficult decision – no more medical intervention would be given. They were determined that all medications to be given were to be of palliative value. They have accepted that fact that my aunt was dying.  This situation really got me thinking.   

Here I was, so elated to be spending my days at home that I really didn’t realize the reason why I was there. It was because of the holy week that I was able to get a few days off. A time, supposedly for reflection and repentance. A time to appreciate the one God who gave his only son for the deliverance of all mankind.

Here I was having fun when I should be giving thanks to a higher Being. It made me realize that everything I have and own in this world is because of Him…

Here I am, a doctor, who with the knowledge and skills taught by preceding great surgeons, still powerless to do anything for my dying aunt.

As I glanced towards the cosmic horizon, the setting of the sun, to me, became akin to the dying embers of the life force of my aunt, as well as my significance as a doctor.

INSIGHT: (Physical, Psychosocial, Ethical) (Discovery, Stimulus, Reinforcement)

I went back to the beach, sat down on the soft sand, and reflected.

As the dusk slowly sets in, I suddenly realized that the setting of the sun does not extinguish the luminosity of living; instead, it signifies the beginning of new possibilities, and it has already left an imprint of the beautiful memories of the day spent.

Darkness may fall, just like the setting sun, but no matter how grave, light will shine through once again.

And like being a doctor, we are not God; we can only do so much for our patients, let us be heartened that we’ve done and will always do and give a hundred and one percent to those under our care.

The promise of the end of a day is a new beginning; we strive to learn the most from our sunset so that we can illuminate the birth of a new day.

I have forever been bickering over my duties and responsibilities, when I should have been appreciating and absorbing life’s enormous beauty – some of them are the lessons that I have learned and will be learning from being a surgery resident.

I looked at the sun slowly fading away, closing its eyes as if in a deep prayer, because even the brightest star knows how to pay its respect and bow down to the One Almighty.